Back at our old church, an older gentleman by the name of Dr. Chuck Harger took me under his wing and had this to say: "Don't ever stop courting your wife. Continue to pursue her heart. Date her, win her."
I'm reminded of this sound advice as I read in Song of Songs this morning. It's bittersweet in that I know it's right and Godly advice, which is energizing, but it also reminds me just how much I fail as a husband.
I do not court my wife as I should.
I often take her for granted.
I do not date her enough.
I'm not actively working to win her at all times.
But God redeems. He is not looking for shame and regret. He asks us not to look over our shoulder to see how we've failed in the past. He simply wants acknowledgement, repentance, and for us "to go and sin no more". And there is no doubt about it… it is sin, not continuing to chase after my wife. It is sloth. It is pride.
I am failing to "love my wife as Christ loved the church." (Ephesians 5:25) How does Christ love the church? He continually draws us out, in order to draw us in. He served us humbly. He sacrificed and died for us. And this is what I need to repent of… settling for comfort and rest, when I should be working… out of love, out of obedience to Him.
Christ continues to woo me. To win me over. That is love. And Christ so loved me that he died on a cross for me. I was literally "to die for". Meredith is "too die for" too.
I acknowledge my shortcomings as a husband. I repent of my laziness and desire for comfort. I repent of taking her for granted. She deserves more. God deserves to be glorified through the work I put into my marriage.
But it's clear that I can't do it on my own.
Lord, help me to die to myself for Meredith. Help me to love her with your love. My love is inadequate. Snap me out of this stasis, where I'm okay with not loving her fully, not feeding her, not courting her, not winning her heart constantly. I am incapable of doing this alone. But with you Lord, all things are possible. I trust in and love you unabashedly and fully. Thank you for your perfect, Agape love and for your long suffering patience with me. Let your perfect love flow through me to her. I asked this in the name of God the Father, God the Son, in God the Holy Spirit, three-in-one. Amen and Amen.
