WARNING: This is a prediction-based fake entry, one that you might see in 25 years given our "progressive" trajectory. Progressive ... such an interesting word. You can progress toward anything, even toward and ultimately over a cliff. If this entry shocks anyone - good. It's where we are heading.
Senator Sarah Silverman
New Babylon (formerly Washington D.C.)
Re: A letter requesting your "tolerance" and asking for further "equality":
Your Luminatory Eminence,
I am a 35 year old man living in this current year of 2039, a modern-thinking world where old, tired ideas like capitalism, faith-based thinking, and objective morality are a thing of the past. When I ponder that the founders of America tried to press upon us Christian values through their oppressive laws and "Bill of Rights" (ha!) almost 300 years ago, I get queasy. I'm so glad we got past that. 20 or so years ago, we finally got past this "same sex marriage" issue and, as a result ... since it's now legal ... it's now assumed to be completely normal ... as it should be. Just like drug use, stealing when "necessary", and same-day divorce. Also, we can now do great things like terminate babies post-birth (up to 3 years post-birth - thank you so much for signing that into law - it really is the parents' decision), a man can marry one or more other men or women or a combination thereof, and our great government takes care of us all with our 80% income tax and "Don't You Worry About a Thing - We've Got Your Back" platform. Thank Hawking for our indefinite President, Chelsea Clinton. She's done great things in the 10 years she's been our Grand Imperial President. Here's to 10+ more years!
But I'm writing in the spirit of further "progress". I am in love with someone, but everywhere we go we are looked upon with judgement, especially by his overbearing parents. How dare they judge me and my 10 year old boyfriend. They say it is not "judgement", but rather they are simply conveying truth about what is right and wrong. What a silly idea. Again, old and tired thinking. Truth is different for everyone. They say things like, "Well, Hitler had his ideas on right and wrong that were subjective, too", but I just ignore them. Not sure who this Hitler is, really, anyway. They probably made him up.
Anyway, my relationship with Timmy is fully consensual, he returns my love, and we wish to be married. Why can't we? Who are the lawmakers to define marriage in such a narrow way? They can't say it's based on anything solid - I mean, that went out the window when Hillary Clinton FINALLY federalized gay marriage back in 2017, making it legal across our great country, The United States of Chinerica (now 51% owned by our great mother country, China).
As a lawyer, I know that - once precedence is set - the doors are swung open for other steps of progress, like anti-age gap marriage legislation as I'm discussing here.
I am asking for you to vote "yea" for the Freedom of Marriage Act coming through the Senate this month for your vote, Ms. Silverman. It will open up such freedoms I am requesting, as well as Same-Immediate-Family Marriage, and Human-Pet Marriage that are LONG overdue.
Let's progress together! All Hail Clinton, and all Hail Imperial Mother China!
In Hawking,
Jack Bowers (although I go by Jackolyn from Thursday through Sunday)
Sidenote: This is simply a prediction-based sattire. I love all people, including those with homosexual inclinations. I have inclinations of my own - different, but no less an issue. Let's be clear: Gay people are already equal in all ways. They simply can't legally commit to one another and call it "marriage" since the only objective definition of marriage is, "Between one man and one woman." That's marriage as defined by our Creator. If two same sex individuals would like to commit to one another, another word must be chosen. All of that said, once the doors are open to this word's definition, anything is fair game. Just a thought worth considering, presented in a unique way.
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