What is Porneia and What Does God REALLY Say About Marriage?

πορνεία (porneia)

Porneia.  From the Greek root meaning "any type of sexual relation outside of God's intended definition of marriage".  This includes adultery, unmerited divorce, pre-marital sex, incest, watching pornography, and so on.  It is not just about the "hot topic" we seem to discuss ad nauseam today.  And to be clear, I too have sinned in some of the ways listed above.  But I'm forgiven.  So are you, if you accept Christ.  All God asks is that we acknowledge that He says these things are not okay, turn away, and try as hard as possible to sin no more (this is called "repentance" - one of those churchy words).

The concept of two people committing to one another did exist in some form before the writing of the Bible, but that means little.  God introduced it to mankind in the Garden of Eden, LONG before it was ever jotted down on a scroll.  Marriage - according to our Creator - is a reflection of God and His people.  Jesus = the groom.  The Church (us) = His bride (yes, even the dudes).  The basic fact that man and woman are inherently different (although equal) is why marriage exists.  We - as husbands and wives - become "cleaved" together as one flesh, and are intended to be a reflection of the relationship between Jesus and His people.  And this is why Christians have such an issue with redefining the term "marriage".  They have an issue with it because it's defined as God defines it.  Anything else is - inherently - not marriage.  It's something else.  Choose a different word.  This truth - stated by Christians - is stated out of love.  We know what God says about those who choose to continue defying Him.  Christians don't want THAT for anyone.  They do not hate anyone (I certainly don't).  They are not bigots.  And they are not discriminating (I am not).  They are simply following and communicating what God says is true (that's what I do, and what I'll continue to do).

There are two general options we have:  (1) subscribe to what God says and acknowledge that He simply knows best, as our Creator and the writer of the instruction book, even if we don't understand, or (2) Go off of our own personal understanding and feelings, tied to absolutely nothing concrete.  

I used to believe that porn was no big deal.  It was not harming anyone, so what's the problem?  But as I studied God's Word, it struck me that it was NOT a victimless crime.  It altered my relationship with my wife, completely skewing my expectations.  It impacted my relationship with my daughter, with female co-workers, my Mom, my sister ... every woman.  God already knew this before I figured it out.  Bottom line, He knows infinitely more than we do.

Is God Anti-Gay?  by Sam Allberry

I am in the middle of a great book right now called "Is God Anti-Gay" written by a Christian man who has strong same-sex attraction.  He explains it far better than I do.  Spoiler:  God does not hate people who identify as "gay".  Quite the opposite.  So, please, before jumping to conclusions about what Christians think, or how they "hate" (or any other misconceptions), read the book.  It's very well covered.  Bottom line, God loves everyone and so do Christians.  But love also means telling someone the truth.  God did not MAKE us to be a "certain way" that He did not intend.  This is a lie.  He made us ... then the sin in the world makes us do things that are displeasing to Him.  Me included.

Sidenote:  Skip the "people in history used the Bible to support slave ownership, so you're wrong here too..." argument.  Truth is, slavery WAS justified with the twisted use of scripture by some - by Christians and non-Christians alike.  But that was an evil and not what scripture ACTUALLY says.  The bible does NOT support slavery, although it does speak to those IN slavery already.  "The idea that God or Christianity encourages or approves of slavery is shown to be false. In fact, anybody who was caught selling another person into slavery was to be executed. However, since voluntary slavery was widely practiced during biblical times, the Bible proscribes laws to protect the lives and health of slaves. Paul, the author of many of the New Testament writings, virtually ordered the Christian Philemon to release his Christian slave from his service to "do what is proper". In addition, numerous verses from the New Testament show that God values slaves as much as any free person and is not partial to anyone's standing before other people."  Learn more >>

Sidenote 2.0:  You may ask, "Why are Christians so vocal lately about this particular sin?"  Answer:  We wouldn't be if it weren't being shoved down our throats daily.  Frankly, it is no worse than any other sin - seriously.  God hates my stinging sarcasm (It's pride, and I'm working on it) just as much as any sinful sexual act, but I'm not out trying to push everyone to accept my stinging sarcasm as "okay" either.  It's on almost every show, a large percentage of headlines recently, et cetera.  We're being forced to state our beliefs on the subject, and we're conveying those beliefs.  We are on the defensive, sitting here believing what we've believed since God told us thousands of years ago.

In summary, I am no ones judge.  I am equally a sinner, just like everyone else is.  But God is everyone's judge.  There is no getting around that in this life.  So, we - as Christians - can either "mind our own business" and watch those who are not in Christ continue to sin, and ultimately land in hell ... OR we can speak up, in love, and face the backlash from those who think we're somehow hateful.  Because I love, I must choose the latter.